Mats Sundin finally signed with the Vancouver Canucks this afternoon, ending months of speculation as to where, or if, he would play this season.
Within the last year, the Toronto Maple Leafs repeatedly tried to get Sundin to waive his no-trade clause in an attempt to jump-start their rebuilding process, but the Leafs management were rebuffed and frustrated by Sundin, who repeatedly said he wanted to ‘retire a Maple Leaf’ during the 2008 trade deadline media frenzy that took place in Toronto.
While Sundin certainly did earn the right to his no-trade clause by becoming the Leafs’ all-time goals and points leader, he was not true to his word, and the Leaf’s missed out on a rare opportunity to restock their system with prospects in an attempt to turn around a franchise which has been unable to reach the post season since the 2004 lock-out.
After also claiming Kyle Wellwood off of waivers earlier this season, the Canucks have recruited what were arguably Toronto’s two most offensively gifted players from last season, and they did not give up anything but money to get them. They already have the NHL’s best goaltender in Roberto Luongo and one of the strongest defense corps in the league. This move makes the Canucks a legitimate Cup contender, but they would still have to battle through an incredibly tough Western Conference to even make it to the finals.
The Lich King is the main antagonist in the wildly popular World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. He is the creator of an undead faction called “The Scourge“and rules over them telepathically from his throne atop the Icecrown Glacier. It is not yet known whether Ignatieff will attempt to legitimize his assent to Prince of Darkness with the Scrouge at the upcoming WoW convention. Grassroots Scourge activists were hoping that the whole process could have been more democratic by using simple telepathic technology, but they have reluctantly endorsed Ignatieff for the time being.
In his much anticipated launch in World of the Warcraft’s latest expansion, the Lich King challenged the incumbant Prince Osbourne for the Dark Throne of Evil.
“Well maybe you’re the one riding a #?@! crazy train, but I’ve been the Prince of Darkness since 1979!”–Former Prince of Darkness Ozzy
Despite Prince Osbourne’s garbled protestations, the Lich King dethroned Ozzy Osbourne, hitting him for 1,000,000 hit points of damage on a single ranged magical-attack. (See Below)
In a recent poll, Ignatieff was overwhelmingly chosen as the Canadian politician with the sweetest ninja skillz, so we knew he was a threat, but his unprecedented level of aggressiveness is coming as a shock to many Canadians. Many have suggested the Ignatieff’s lack of aggressiveness is because the Liberal coffers are too bare to cope with another election. But Jamaica-lovin’ Super-Liberal Warren Kinsella says this is not so:
“First off, the Liberal Party of Canada isn’t “broke.” … the LPC will be quite election-ready, thank you very much. … Our web team – a very impressive bunch – were very effective at getting folks to donate.”–Kinsella
The Liberal “web team” experts were likely to have given Ignatieff key strategic insights as to how to take down the most feared head boss ever seen in the entire MMORPG universe, but John Chuckman reminds us that Ignatieff isn’t your typical hack-and-slash melee politician class:
“[Ignatieff] is aggressive, arrogant, and has demonstrated Machiavellian skills. I see him as a divisive and anti-democratic figure, much as Stephen Harper”–Chuckman.
Chuckman likens Ignatieff style to a young President Mubarak from Egypt. Mubarak, whose corrupt government has been in power since the assination of former president Sadat in 1981, declined to comment (out of fear that he might be Iggy’s next victim, no doubt.) Chuckman goes on to say,
Ignatieff spent years speaking for America ‘s global empire, allying himself with the Neo-cons in his enthusiasm for invading Iraq. He joined the ranks of ethical cowards by suggesting some modest role for torture…Had he been in office when Bush invaded, Canadians would be killing and being killed in Iraq.–Chuckman
Watch your back Mr. Harper: Iggy “The Brow” Ignatieff is bloodthirsty and on the loose. You’d best not agro the newest Prince of Darkness, else you might end up with an a$$-full of pwnage.
Special thanks to Bork Newswatch for highlighting this informative gem. I <3 Payola.
A major tenet of the Conservative government’s policy since taking power is to increase military spending. To that end, in 2007 Stephen Harper committed over $17 billion worth of ships, aircraft and armoured trucks for the Canadian Forces. Canadians deserve a military that can kick ass, and what better way to re-assert ourselves as a [...]
Bill Graveland reports that the Canadian military are going to use donkeys to help battle against the Taliban in Afghanistan. Initial reports suggest that these asses are unrelated to those meth-using Canadian soldiers involved in drug trafficking. Maj. Charles Jansen, the self-proclaimed “Ass-Master” is spearheading the donkey brigade idea. Due […]
In an one-on-one interview with CityNews’ Richard Madan, Michael Ignatieff shared some of his thoughts on the kinds of policy decisions that a future Liberal government may make under his leadership by stating that he would consider reverting the G.S.T. back to 7%. “If we are in a deep deficit in year 3 or 4 [...]
Mats Sundin finally signed with the Vancouver Canucks this afternoon, ending months of speculation as to where, or if, he would play this season. Within the last year, the Toronto Maple Leafs repeatedly tried to get Sundin to waive his no-trade clause in an attempt to jump-start their rebuilding process, but the Leafs management were [...]
In yet another shocking seizure of power, John Chuckman of the Baltimore Chronicle reports that newly-appointed Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff appears to have usurped The World of Warcraft’s Lich King to become Canada’s Prince of Darkness. The Lich King is the main antagonist in the wildly popular World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King [...]
