The Lich King moments before getting pwned by Ignatieff
In yet another shocking seizure of power, John Chuckman of the Baltimore Chronicle reports that newly-appointed Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff appears to have usurped The World of Warcraft’s Lich King to become Canada’s Prince of Darkness.
The Lich King is the main antagonist in the wildly popular World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. He is the creator of an undead faction called “The Scourge“and rules over them telepathically from his throne atop the Icecrown Glacier. It is not yet known whether Ignatieff will attempt to legitimize his assent to Prince of Darkness with the Scrouge at the upcoming WoW convention. Grassroots Scourge activists were hoping that the whole process could have been more democratic by using simple telepathic technology, but they have reluctantly endorsed Ignatieff for the time being.
In his much anticipated launch in World of the Warcraft’s latest expansion, the Lich King challenged the incumbant Prince Osbourne for the Dark Throne of Evil.
“Well maybe you’re the one riding a #?@! crazy train, but I’ve been the Prince of Darkness since 1979!”–Former Prince of Darkness Ozzy
Despite Prince Osbourne’s garbled protestations, the Lich King dethroned Ozzy Osbourne, hitting him for 1,000,000 hit points of damage on a single ranged magical-attack. (See Below)
In a recent poll, Ignatieff was overwhelmingly chosen as the Canadian politician with the sweetest ninja skillz, so we knew he was a threat, but his unprecedented level of aggressiveness is coming as a shock to many Canadians. Many have suggested the Ignatieff’s lack of aggressiveness is because the Liberal coffers are too bare to cope with another election. But Jamaica-lovin’ Super-Liberal Warren Kinsella says this is not so:
“First off, the Liberal Party of Canada isn’t “broke.” … the LPC will be quite election-ready, thank you very much. … Our web team – a very impressive bunch – were very effective at getting folks to donate.”–Kinsella
The Liberal “web team” experts were likely to have given Ignatieff key strategic insights as to how to take down the most feared head boss ever seen in the entire MMORPG universe, but John Chuckman reminds us that Ignatieff isn’t your typical hack-and-slash melee politician class:
“[Ignatieff] is aggressive, arrogant, and has demonstrated Machiavellian skills. I see him as a divisive and anti-democratic figure, much as Stephen Harper”–Chuckman.
Chuckman likens Ignatieff style to a young President Mubarak from Egypt. Mubarak, whose corrupt government has been in power since the assination of former president Sadat in 1981, declined to comment (out of fear that he might be Iggy’s next victim, no doubt.) Chuckman goes on to say,
Ignatieff spent years speaking for America ‘s global empire, allying himself with the Neo-cons in his enthusiasm for invading Iraq. He joined the ranks of ethical cowards by suggesting some modest role for torture…Had he been in office when Bush invaded, Canadians would be killing and being killed in Iraq.–Chuckman
Watch your back Mr. Harper: Iggy “The Brow” Ignatieff is bloodthirsty and on the loose. You’d best not agro the newest Prince of Darkness, else you might end up with an a$$-full of pwnage.
Special thanks to Bork Newswatch for highlighting this informative gem. I ❤ Payola.
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